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Tuesday, March 16, 2010
All men are D*gs !
This is my google image find hope you like it,i wont be posting frequently due to my exams next month and i apologize to my readers but once my exams are over i will be back in action.
Friday, March 12, 2010
'Father, may I ask a favour?'
'Father, may I ask a favour?'
'Of course. What may I do for you?'
'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's
birthday that is unopened and well over the customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.' 'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything t declare?' 'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'"
'Of course. What may I do for you?'
'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's
birthday that is unopened and well over the customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.' 'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything t declare?' 'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'"
Mountie reports on drowned wife
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. "We are sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife", said one of the Mounties.
"Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted.
The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said "Give me the bad news first."
The Mountie said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"
The Mountie continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her."
Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news???"
The Mountie said, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
"Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted.
The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said "Give me the bad news first."
The Mountie said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"
The Mountie continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her."
Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news???"
The Mountie said, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
Pakistan Zindabad "Only in Pakistan"
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010
A Shy Guy Goes Into a Bar
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "200 DOLLARS? YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND!"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "200 DOLLARS? YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND!"
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