When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
A little boy went up to his father and asked :" Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ? "His father replied :" Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother,because I still have mine.
"What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? " Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,but I never told them anything !! "
John's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying :"John seems to be a very bright boy,
but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.
"The mother wrote back the next day :" If you find a solution, please advise.I have the same problem with his father ! "
When I was young I used to pray for a bike,then I realized that God doesn't work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
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